1 Year Ago Today

So one year ago today Matt and I thought that the most exciting thing that was going to happen was that our new carpet was going to be installed in our house. Little did we know that by the end of the day we would be holding our beautiful daughter.

(apologies if this is a bit long, it's more so my mom brain won't ever forget a moment of it)

The night of January 4th I got the worst night's sleep of my entire pregnancy. For the most part I had a pretty easy pregnancy and really enjoyed being pregnant, that night, yikes, I was exhausted but couldn't get comfortable no matter what I tried. I hardly got any sleep and ended up watching really poor infomercials on late night tv just to try and distract myself from the uncomfortable-ness. I'm pretty sure I finally fell asleep about 45 minutes before my alarm went off. Being that it was a Tuesday I got up, got ready, and went to work. I had my weekly OBGYN appointment scheduled for 3:15 PM that afternoon so I worked until 2:30 PM so I could get there on time. Much of the discomfort from the prior night was still present at work that day. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 and I had probably just spent the last however many hours in early labor, but who knew?! I'd never done this before and Rachel's due date was still 3 weeks away on January 26th.

At my appointment that afternoon I casually mentioned the crappy night's sleep and how I was having some (what I thought were) Braxton Hicks. My doctor's partner was the one in the office that afternoon and she decided that she would do my first internal exam since I was there and had some discomfort. Within about 5 minutes everything began to change in life as I knew it. The doctor told me in half amazement and half excitement that I was already 4 cm's dilated and that I needed to go home, get my bag and my husband, and get to the hospital because the baby was coming!

I called Matt right away and as luck would have it he was not at home (even though he had been there all day prior to that). This was the fun part where I told him that he needed to get home ASAP because we were headed to the hospital because Rachel was on her way! I'm pretty sure he asked me if I was serious, ha!

I got home before Matt did and began to put a few last minute things in my hospital bag. Thank God for being such a planner! Even with Rach coming 3 weeks early my bag was already about 95% packed and ready to go! Matt got home shortly after that and began to get ready. His bag was not packed so he started throwing stuff in. At this point his worry now was that he had not taken a shower yet and had been working around the house and moving furniture all day. He hopped in to take a quick shower while I tried to just sit and relax as much as I could. Now clean, Matt then proceeded to stand in front of his closet and wonder, "what do I want to wear when I meet my baby for the first time?". Sure, this is adorable and funny now, however a year ago, while I was "relaxing", not so much! Thank goodness Matt finally decided on a new ND t-shirt he had gotten for Christmas. We did one last check to make sure we had everything and we were off!

Luckily there wasn't much in the way of snow or ice and we were traveling right at the very beginning of rush hour. We spent the car ride being nervous and excited and calling family and friends. We made it to the hospital right around 5 PM. We checked in at the Maternity Triage where they proceeded to do tests on me and Rach to make sure we were healthy and that I was actually in labor. At this point, now about an hour and a half after my doctor appointment I had gone from 4 to 5 cm's dilated. Remember I had said that my appointment that afternoon was with the partner, well it must have been fate because that meant that it was my doctor's shift at the hospital! She was already there and she was the one that got to deliver Rachel.

After they determined that I was definitely in labor (um yeah, hello 5 cm's!) they admitted us and got us set up in a Labor and Delivery room. At this point I still was feeling pretty good, all things considered. A nurse came in and asked if and when I wanted an epidural. I am no glutton for punishment and said, Yes Please! but also let her know that I had read that sometimes an epidural can slow down labor and I wasn't sure if I wanted it this soon. The nurse decided to have my doctor check me again to see how far along I was so we could make a good guess as to when we should go ahead with the epidural. I get checked again and am now at 6 cm's! (This was around about 6 PM) Good lord, Little Bear is hell bent on coming tonight! My doctor also determines that all of this has gone on while my water still has not broken and that she needs to do that manually.

I'll say it again, up to this point I'm still feeling pretty good, the internal exams are pretty uncomfortable but once they are over I'm pretty happy again. Well as they say, all good things must come to an end. Having my water broken was not fun one bit, made the internal exams seem almost pleasant. After my water is broken the r-e-a-l contractions begin. Good lord! I am now telling the nurse that I am most definitely ready for my epidural but of course as luck would have it Dr. Anesthesiologist is now quite in demand and I will have to wait. According to Matt we only had to wait about a half hour but man, that may have been one of the worst half hours of my life! Dr. Anesthesiologist arrives and is a Godsend. I didn't look at the needle but was instead concentrating on trying to sit up and lean forward during contractions and hold still so that the needle went in correctly.

All goes smoothly and I start to feel better again. Just in time too since now family has started to arrive! Katie and Jay were the first ones there. In the meantime I keep getting checked and keep being further along than the last time, so much for the epidural slowing things down! (I did have one unpleasant nurse tell me that all the other women in Labor & Delivery "hated" me because my labor was going so fast! gee, thanks!) My mom and dad were still on their way to the hospital and after every time they would check me Matt would send them another text update with the new cm's, needless to say that with how fast things were going they were afraid they weren't going to make it in time. Luckily they did! My mom and dad got there and we even had a little bit of time to visit before it became apparent that it was go time.

Now this is where time gets a little fuzzy. Both Matt and I *think* that I pushed for about an hour. Matt remembers it feeling like a long time, I remember thinking it went pretty quickly, either way you figure we were only at the hospital for 5 hours before Rachel was born. To my credit I never once yelled, screamed, or swore at Matt. The worst thing that came out of my mouth was saying, "I don't think I can do this." while trying to push. Here's the thing, they want you to get 3 good pushes in during each contraction, which first of all you have to learn how to push because this is not your everyday pushing here, then you have to try to find time to rest between contractions. Our lovely daughter being ever excited to meet us was giving me NO time to rest between contractions! My doctor became concerned about me getting too tired since the contractions were one right on top of the other so I ended up being given an oxygen mask to wear.

I have to give credit where credit is due, Matt was amazing the entire time! I think he must have gotten all his nervous energy out at home worrying about the shower and his outfit because once we got to the hospital he was cool, calm, collected. He kept me focused and I will never forget the look on his face when he told me he could see a full head of hair on Rachel or when he held her for the first time. I learned exactly what people mean when they say that they fell in love with their spouse all over again.

So, at 10:09 PM on Tuesday January 5, 2010 our beautiful Rachel Ann was born. She weighed 8 lbs, 8 oz. and was 22 inches long. After the doctor pulled her out she put her on my chest right away and I got to meet our daughter. Matt got to cut the umbilical cord and watch her get examined and cleaned up. I will never forget hearing her cry for the first time or seeing her face for the first time or feeling her hold my finger while I held her.

After I got cleaned up and stitched up (3rd degree tear, yikes) our family got to come in and meet Rachel. Watching my parents assume their new role as grandparents was indescribable and seeing Katie and Jay bond with their new niece was just as joyful. Everyone was able to hold her and talk to her. Eventually everyone had to leave and we were moved up to a room on the Maternity floor, just the three of us, our new family. I didn't get much sleep that night but I didn't care. It was far more exciting to watch my daughter sleep and listen to her little baby noises.

One year ago today, the happiest day of my life. The last year has definitely has its ups and downs, highs and lows, but the good has far outweighed the bad and I have whole-heartedly enjoyed being a mom and watching Rachel learn and grow and discover new things. I look forward to all that the next year has in store for us and can't imagine how much she will have changed again by her second birthday. I have so many hopes and dreams for her and will do my best to be as amazing of a mom to her as my mom was to me.

Rachel, Mommy loves you so very much! You are my every dream come true and the answer to all of my prayers. I love you more each day than the last. Happy First Birthday my sweet baby girl!