Happy Anniversary!!! - May 12, 2011

A letter to my beautiful daughter, Rachel Ann.

May 12, 2011

Happy Anniversary my sweet love!! Today is a very special day to Mommy. It was on this day two years ago that Mommy and Daddy found out we were pregnant with you! This was one of the happiest days of Mommy's life for many reasons.

May 12, 2009 was a Tuesday and happened to fall two days after Mother's Day 2009. It was on this morning that I received a belated Mother's Day gift from God. I woke up early to get ready for work and decided to take a pregnancy test. After a little over two years of trying to get pregnant and having no luck you can imagine how ecstatic Mommy was to finally see that elusive second pink line! I woke Daddy up and calmly said, "I think I see a second line." Poor Daddy, as you may have already found out for yourself Rach, Daddy is not a morning person and does not like to wake up early, but being the good sport he was he hobbled out of bed, half awake, and came to investigate for himself in the bathroom. I think he started to wake up a bit more when he saw for himself that there was in fact a second line. Finally a positive test!

It had been a long two years and Mommy and Daddy had gone through a lot: multiple tests, exams, blood work, ultrasounds, medications (pills & shots), and treatment. This positive test came after our second more intensive shot treatment. The first had been unsuccessful and due to money and insurance we knew we would only be able to try this three times. If this second round was not successful Mommy would have to have surgery before the third and last round. Thank you my sweet baby girl, not only are you the best thing to ever happen to me but your timing was impeccable and saved Mommy from surgery!

Rachel Bear, when you are older we can talk about all of this more in depth if you would like and Mommy can answer any questions that you might have. But the bottom line is this: no matter what, I want you to know just how badly you were wanted and how much you are loved. You have filled a hole in my heart and in the instant that I saw your beautiful face and held you, my precious baby girl, you healed two years worth of pain, hurt, sadness, and disappointment that Mommy was afraid might never go away. I love you always and forever!

Rachel, I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making sure that each and every day you never have to doubt how loved you are and how special you are. If I can give you a piece of Mommy wisdom/advice, don't you ever give up. If there is something that you want, you go after it, you try and try again. You can do anything and be anything that you put your mind to. Do not get discouraged by setbacks, roadblocks, or mini-failures. As your Mom, I cannot promise you a life without hurt or disappointment (though I wish I could!) but I can promise you that I will always, always be your #1 fan, your biggest cheerleader, and your strongest supporter! I promise you that as long as I am breathing you will always have a hand to hold, an ear to listen, an unending supply of hugs and kisses, and unconditional love. Mommy will always be there to wipe your tears, share in your laughter and happiness, and make sure you never give up. If Mommy would have given up (and there were times I wanted to) I would not have you and you, Rachel Bear, are the most wonderful, perfect, happiest, BEST thing to ever happen to me! I love you and every night while I watch you fall asleep I thank God for you!

I set out on a narrow way,

many years ago.

Hopin' I would find true love,

along the broken road,

But I got lost a time or two,

wiped my brow kept pushin' through,

I couldn't see how every sign pointed me straight to you.

Every long lost dream,

led me to where you are,

disappointments that broke my heart,

they were like northern stars,

pointing me on my way,

into your loving arms,

this much I know is true,

that God blessed the broken road that lead me straight to you.

I think about the years I've spent,

just passin' through,

I'd like to have the time I lost,

and give it back to you,

but you just smile and take my hand,

you've been there you understand,

It's all part of a grander plan,

that is is coming true...

...this much I know is true,

that God blessed the broken road that lead me straight to you.

-Rascal Flatts

Happy Mother's Day....to Me!!!

I'm not sure if this will come off as a bit self-promoting or self-indulgent but I did want to take a moment to wish myself a Happy Mother's Day. This is by no means me saying that I'm the world's greatest mom (I've got some pretty big shoes to fill thanks to my awesome Mom!) or a perfect mom or that I always do everything right, but more just me taking a moment to celebrate just being a Mom.

The road to motherhood was not an easy one for me, to say the least, but in the end God answered all of my prayers and blessed me not only with the gift of motherhood but with the gift of being the Mom to the most amazing, perfect, wonderful little girl. Rachel Ann, there will never be enough words to express to you how much my heart overflows with love for you! I am so honored to be your Mom.

(Initially I had something else in mind to commemorate Mother's Day here, but then I received this email from my Mom and decided to go with this instead. Thanks Mom, I love you!)

Before I was Mom,

I never tripped over toys or forgot the words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,

I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much.

Before I was a Mom,

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the Moms out there reading this, especially to my Mom and my mother-in-law!!
(And as my Dad always used to say, "You can't have a mother without a father", so I also have to give a special thank you to the amazing man that I am lucky enough to call my husband and best friend, without which I would not have my precious Rachel Bear. Thank you Matty, I love you!!)

Easter 2011 Pictures

These are by no means all of the Easter pictures (we took a ton) but just a few of them for everyone to see. It was a great day, with wonderful family, and the most beautiful little girl ever!!! (You can click on each picture to view it larger.)

Rachel's 2nd Easter

I can't believe Rachel has already celebrated two Easters! It is amazing to me how much she has changed in just a year. Last Easter she was only 3 months old and was just so tiny, such a precious little baby. This year she is 15 1/2 months old and is still my precious baby, but she just seems so much bigger, so much like a little girl now.

We had a great weekend. I was off on Friday so we all got an extra day together as a family! Matt and I took Rach and Charlie up to Partridge Creek to do some shopping and we bought Rach a couple new pairs of summer shoes. Then we went over to Grandma and Grandpa's house and decorated Easter eggs. Rach didn't really decorate but she did like looking at the colors and holding the eggs. Unfortunately she also liked holding an egg in each hand and then hitting them together...a few did get cracked, oops!

Saturday was pretty laid back. We all went to the gym again in the morning (also did this Friday) and then hung out at home until Matt had to go to work. After that Rach and I went grocery shopping. I know I have said it before, but Rach is such a good shopper. She is happy and awesome pretty much the whole time. She did get especially happy when I was getting more apples for us. As I was putting them into the plastic bag she was sitting in the cart kicking her little feet saying, "Apple! Apple! Apple!" with this huge smile on her face! Yep, the girl likes her apples! (An odd note, as much as Rach likes apples, she is not a fan of applesauce. My only guess is that it is a consistency thing.)

Sunday was Easter and we headed back over to Grandma and Grandpa's house after Rach got her Easter basket at home. From us Rach got 2 new coloring books, a new box of crayons, 2 small chocolate bunnies, and 3 pairs of summer Minnie Mouse jammies.

Easter was a great day. I'm pretty sure it's safe to say we all had an amazing time. Rachel looked like a little princess angel in her dress (mad props to Matt on this one. I had bought her 4 dresses, yeah that's just how I roll, and we narrowed it down to 2, with me voting for 1 and Matt voting for the 1 she actually wore. Great job Daddy!). Grandma and Grandpa were super generous and spoiled Rach (& us) with not one, but two Easter baskets of goodies. Rach had a blast pulling everything out. She got a new book about puppies, some chocolate, a new princess bath towel, a bunny sippy cup, a bunny t-shirt, and a new summer outfit. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!

After that it was time for the egg hunt. Rach caught on very quickly about finding and picking up the eggs, however she did not want to drop them into her bunny basket. Silly girl just wanted to carry them around with her! So we pretty much just let her. She would carry one in each hand and just walk, and walk, and walk all around the house! She did this Friday too. She hardly sat down at all, even to play with her toys. She just wanted to walk all over. It was adorable but made me feel slightly bad that we don't have a bigger house for her to be able to walk like that at home. (Come on housing market, get better so we can get rid of the condo!) Rach also enjoyed Easter food. She had never had ham before but she certainly liked it at lunch! After her nap we had Grandma's famous bunny cake and Rach loved it, no surprise there!

Overall, Easter was really one of those days that I just wanted to be able to hit the "Pause" button on and freeze us there in time for a bit. Rach was even more adorable than usual, she was so happy and silly and fun. She is at such a great age and it seems like time is just going by so fast! I look at her little face and see this beautiful little girl. She is sweet and affectionate and silly and has a great personality and sense of humor already. I am absolutely amazed by something she does or says each day now (the latest this weekend is saying "Please", so adorable!). She absolutely melts my heart and I feel so unbelievably blessed to have her. Rachel Ann, Mommy loves you so much more than words can say. You fill my heart with more love and my life with more joy than I ever thought was possible.

15 Month Check Up & Some Pictures

Wow, I can't believe Rachel is 15 (& 1/2) months old already! Time really does fly when you are having fun! Last Thursday, April 14, 2011, Matt and I took Rachel for her 15 month check up. Rach did great and checked out just fine! Both Matt and I commented how nice it was to be at the pediatrician's office for a well visit instead of a sick visit! Rach must have agreed because she was all smiles, happy, and chatty with everyone there!

Rach did have to get a couple shots which she didn't like at all and she did cry but she calmed down really quick once we were able to pick her up. A cute/sad story, after the doctor was done checking Rach the nurse came back in with her shots. When she came in Rach smiled big, waved, and said "HI!". The poor nurse actually looked/felt guilty that this sweet, friendly little girl had no idea what was about to happen. :( The good news is that the doctor said she believes that after these last shots the only one that Rach will be due for at her 18 month check is the MMR and we are actually going to delay that one until her 2 year visit so fingers crossed Rach's 18 month check will be shot free!!!

I'm not sure if we are the only ones that do this, but I guess it's just our "thing", but Matt and I always guess/bet at these appointments what Rach's stats are going to be (height & weight). I'm not sure if it's a Dad thing or just a Matt thing, but Matt always overestimates both!! Now, not to toot my own horn but I did pretty darn good this last time. I guessed Rach was 33.5 inches long, and she is actually 33 inches long. Only off by a half inch! Then I guessed that Rach is 23.7 pounds, and you know what the scale said, 23.74! Oh yeah! (Yes, I take joy in the little things knowing that even though I still carry around a lot of guilt for working and being away from Rachel that at least I do still know my baby pretty well).

Other than the shots it was a great appointment. Rach's ears, nose, and mouth looked great. The doctor told us Rach was getting a fine amount of milk each day, not to stress about the bottle, and that Rach's verbal abilities are well above where a typical 15 month old's are. It was funny, she asked us how many words Rach says and we started listing them, the doctor actually stopped us and said that was great and that they usually only hope for 3-5 at 15 months!

In other news, we had another great weekend. Grandma and Grandpa hung out with Rach Friday night so that Matt and I could have a date night. Matt took Saturday off so we all got to be home and spend the day together Saturday. We took Rach out to breakfast and then hung out at home and worked on cleaning/organizing. Rach also got tooth #11!! It is unreal to me how much she looks like a little girl now instead of a baby! It is so amazing to watch her grow up!

Now for the pictures:

Milk is yummy!

I love my chair!

Super cute, happy girl having fun on a Daddy-Daughter day!

Mommy's two favorite people, the loves of my life!

An Overdue Update

I had always intended on blogging more than just once a week but unfortunately things have been so busy, at home and at work, lately that I hardly have much of a choice. I have a back log of cute pictures that I want to make sure I get around to posting and a ton of cute/funny stories that I want to make sure I don't forget. Also, I've had an issue/situation weighing heavily on my mind lately. I'm not sure if I want to write about it or not. Some days I think it would be good to get it out and I practically have the entire post composed in my head and other days I think that I would just be opening up a can of worms and potentially making a bad situation even worse. We shall see.

Anywho, things have been good in casa de Phillips. It's hard to believe that tomorrow it will be just 2 weeks since Rach "took off the training wheels" and became a full-time walker. To watch her motor around the house, daycare, and everywhere in between you would think she'd been at it for much longer. Her balance and confidence levels are amazing! She is also fast! I think she really wants to run but still needs to master the mechanics of that. Really the only times that she falls now are when she starts moving her little legs and feet so fast that she trips herself up!

We had a really good last weekend and got to spend a lot of time together as a family. I left work early on Friday. Matt, Rach, and I spent the afternoon at Target, Sonic, and the gym before settling in at home that night. Saturday Matt didn't need to be at work until 4PM so we spent most of the day together. Rach and I went grocery shopping after Matt went to work. Sunday Rach and I went shopping at Lakeside and met up with my friend Jess for lunch at Panera and then went to Grandma and Grandpa's for a short visit.

The two pictures below are of Rach waiting with me outside Panera for Jess since we got there early. She is really just a happy, happy little girl! She is always full of smiles and laughter. And my usually shy Little Bear was actually saying "Hi" to people in the mall as they walked by us! For lunch, Rach and I shared a turkey sandwich and chicken noodle soup and I'm pretty sure that Rach ate more than Mommy did! We did not however share a smoothie, we each had our own. As I've mentioned before, Rachel loves fruit smoothies. I always make her a new batch of homemade smoothies every week, but she's also allowed to get one while we are out if it is a healthy one. Luckily Panera's are all natural and organic. During lunch Rach was a little chatter bug, only stopping to eat, smile, and laugh. (Also, as you can see, we do not go anywhere without Puppy.)

In other news, at daycare Rachel has officially been moved to the Toddler 1 room. (She started out in the Infant 1 room, then in September when she was 8 months old was moved to the Infant 2 room.) I'm not sure how long she will be in this room, some of the paperwork said approx. until 18 months old (she's already 15 months). My guess is that at the latest she will be in there until the end of August. The daycare's year runs like a school year and the "new" year starts in September. By then Rach would be almost 20 months old (yikes!) so really we are only talking about a difference of 2 months or so.

Matt and I are excited about this new room. The kids are all very close in age and ability levels (all are walking as opposed to her old room that had "little" 8 and 9 month olds in it). In the toddler rooms they also start having a curriculum that they follow every day/week. A few things they will be working on are shapes, colors, numbers, letters, and sign language. They also have a set schedule. All of the kids eat lunch and snack at the same time and nap at the same time. Overall, it just seems so much more organized and structured.

Unfortunately the change has been a little upsetting for Rach. Both this morning and yesterday morning when Matt had to drop her off in her new room for the first time Rach was upset and cried and did not want Daddy to leave. :( Luckily she did end up having a good day there yesterday. When I went to pick her up she was playing and smiling and everyone told me she was happy. I'm hoping to get the same report today!

Tomorrow afternoon we have to take Rach for her 15 month check up. We are expecting it to go well and to just have it reinforced that we have the world's most awesome child! I'll have to update later on how it goes and all her important stats.

A Cute Quick Pic

Just got a text from Matt with the following picture and message:

"Dad, can Mick come to daycare with me? Pleeeeeaaaaassssseeeee!"

There seriously are no words to describe just how much I truly love this perfect little girl! (yes, her Dad is pretty funny and great too!)

Super Proud Mommy Post

Well it is official....we have a walker!!! I need to mark my calendar that on March 31, 2011 at 14 1/2, almost 15 months old our sweet baby girl became an official walker!

It is so funny because just yesterday in my post I mentioned that Rach still wasn't walking full-time but the amount of steps and the distances were becoming noticeably longer and then when I got home last night Matt mentioned that she had been practicing a ton yesterday, but still pretty short distances, no more than about 5 or 6 steps. Then, bam! Something happened last night and it was like this little light bulb went off in Rach's head like "why do I keep crawling?!?".

Matt and Rach were hanging out in the living room and I was making dinner in the kitchen. Matt said that one minute she was just standing by the coffee table and then the next she was walking away! Matt had called out to me and said "your daughter is on her way to see you." So I look around the corner (fully expecting to see a crawling Rachel) and there she is, walking and smiling on her way to see Mommy! Rach was so cute and proud of herself! She was smiling and giggling like crazy! Of course Matt and I were super excited and proud too!

Once that little switch was turned on, it was on! She just wanted to keep walking all over the house. She would start in the kitchen then go through the dining room then into the living room then turn around and go back...repeating this the entire time I was making dinner and while Matt and I ate dinner. She did take a break to eat her own dinner, but when she was done, right back to walking laps around the house. She took another short break to get a bath, but then, yep you guessed it...the walking laps continued upstairs. She would stand up in her room, walk through the hall, into our room, turn around, and then back again.

I thought that for sure she would tire herself out and we would have a good night's sleep, but she was so excited and charged up it took far longer than usual to get her to calm down and fall asleep! Then she woke up a good half hour/45 minutes early this morning and couldn't wait to get her cute little feet back on the ground again! Fingers crossed her excitement for this new found "trick" will tire her out good today!

I know some (uninformed) people might think that almost 15 months is "late" for a walker, however any doctor and/or resource will tell you that the normal range for walking is 8 - 18 months. That is a huge range and we were still more than 3 months away from the high end of it. Not to mention that kids all develop at their own pace. Sure, Rach just started walking however she is super verbal and can talk laps (ha, pun intended!) around the little girl at daycare whose annoying mom thinks its so awesome that she started walking at 10 months.

Rather selfishly I am happy/hopeful that this should now calm down some of the ridiculous competitiveness of some mommys and the annoying comments/"concerns" of others that just don't know any better. Not only was Rach's pediatrician never concerned (she stated that taller babies tended to walk later) but I'm also fairly certain that the age a child hits certain milestones at has zero effect on how successful, happy, smart, etc they will be later in life. Let's be honest, I know a few kids that started walking before or at their first birthdays and their greatest accomplishments in life will probably be if they secure a job that isn't at Walmart and stay out of jail! Heck, my cousin started walking at 15 months and is now a doctor! I'm willing to bet that 17 years from now there will not be a box to fill out stating "at what age did you start walking?" when Rach is filling out her college application for the University of Notre Dame! **Rachel Bear, you are absolutely perfect and wonderful. Do not let anyone ever tell you othewise.**

Okay, enough of my protective mama bear venting! I will say that it is true what I have heard/read that babies that walk later tend to do it faster than the earlier walkers. Its like they have been thinking about it and waiting until they could do it and get it perfect. Rach pretty much went from 0 to 60 in a matter of minutes/hours. There really were no tentative first steps, slowly learning (I guess we could say that's what she has been practicing for the past 2 months!) she was up and going, fast! A few times Matt and I looked at each other like, "is she trying to run already?!?", that's how quickly those little feet were going!

I have to admit that I am not only proud of my angel but also so happy about how/when this amazing milestone happened. It wasn't at daycare, it was at home. And not only was it at home but it was a night that both Matt and I were there and Matt had his video camera nearby, perfect! I really couldn't have arranged it or planned it better myself! I am so thankful that both Matt and I got to witness this milestone and all 3 of us got to share in it as a family!

(I know that most of our friends/family were unable to open the videos we sent last night. Matt is working on the formatting and we will hopefully have them sent back to you this weekend so you can see our Little Bear in action!)

TIDWTF - March 31, 2011

Things I Don't Want To Forget

(it has been far too long since I have done one of these)

-In the past few weeks Rachel has gotten 2 new teeth in. This brings our new total up to 9 teeth! (5 on the bottom and 4 on top)

-Rach continues to be an awesome, non-picky eater! She has yet to meet a vegetable that she doesn't like; the latest one we gave her was asparagus last weekend and she did great. She absolutely LOVES all of the homemade soups that Grandma has made.

-When Rach is eating something she really likes (yogurt, soup, cookies...) she makes the most adorable "Mmmm" sound. Cracks me up!

-Rachel's vocabulary keeps growing each and every day. The list of words that she knows and can identify is super long. You can ask her to bring you any number of things, toys, books, etc and she will bring you the right one. Rach is also adding a bunch of new words that she can say too. More often now she tries to repeat words after we say them.

-Rach still is not a full-time walker yet but she has been practicing and is getting much better. She had been taking one or two steps here and there for a couple months now but in the recent weeks the amount of steps and walking distances have noticably increased. The first one that I can remember was on Monday March 7. I had just gotten home from work and was in our living room with Rach, Grandma, and Grandpa. Rach was standing at our coffee table and wanted to get to something near the front door. And just like that, off she went. She must have taken at least 6 good steps all by herself. We were so proud and I was so glad I was there to see! Since then she has continued practicing and working on her confidence at home for me & Matt, at Grandma and Grandpa's, and at daycare.

-After all of the February/beginning of March sickness drama we enjoyed 3 glorious weeks illness free! Unfortunately this Sunday Rach woke up at midnight with a fever and has had a cold/virus this week. She had the fever most of the day Sunday and then it returned while she was at daycare Tuesday. She has a stuffy, runny nose and a yucky cough. She hasn't been sleeping too good at night but has at least been napping during the days (too bad Mommy can't nap during the days too! :) Luckily she does not have another ear infection and does not need antibiotics again, yay!

-Rach is seriously the happiest little sick kid I have ever seen! She does have her moments, like when she is tired, she is tired, and she does want to hug and cuddle a bit more than usual, but overall she is still amazing! And the energy levels...my goodness! Especially after a really good nap, wow, she is just go, go, go! It is so great to see her happy and playing even when she is sick. It does however make it interesting when she is playing hardcore and then sneezes and you have to basically chase her down to wipe her nose!

-Rachel is still such an affectionate little girl and I love it! I think it's safe to say that at least once a day either me or Matt or both are given a hug and/or kiss from her, just because. While she is sick this week we have had to do a lot of nose wiping and Rach honestly does not like it one bit. She cries and fusses and tries to squirm away from you. BUT most of the time after I am done wiping her nose she gives me a kiss without me even asking for it! In my head she is saying, "I hate having you wipe my nose Mom, but I still love you." She also loves to give hugs to her favorite toys: Puppy, Mickey, and Timmy. It is so cute to watch her pull them super close and give them a big hug! She always does it with a sweet smile and sometimes even a little giggle. Also, if I am holding Rach and Matt and I kiss, Rach then leans in and tries to join in the kiss too! She is such a little lover!

-Timmy, oh Timmy. Last Friday Rachel and Matt went to Target together and Daddy bought Rach her very own stuffed Timmy. It is little, but so is Rach. If you are reading this wondering, "who in the heck is Timmy??", well then, woah you are missing out. Timmy Time is a show on the Disney Channel that Rach likes almost as much as Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. (I swear my child does not sit around and watch tv all day!) It is all animals and there is no talking, just the animal noises. Rach gets such a kick out of it!

-Even with the addition of Timmy, it is safe to say that Puppy is still #1 with Rach. Puppy is her BFF. Timmy has quickly taken the spot as a really solid #2 with her, but alas, it appears that no one can dethrone Puppy from #1 BFF status. (Awhile ago when we first realized how attached to Puppy Rach was we went out and got a second puppy, just in case. Well during the sickness ordeal during February I actually got 2 more puppies, again just in case. It also makes life easier for me when Rach is sick. I change her sheets, jammies, blankets, etc practically every day when she is sick and it seemed silly that she would keep the same germ covered Puppy day after day. This way I can easily have time to wash them and she still always has a clean one. We just have our own little litter of Puppies now!)

Sometimes We Are Silly

As I had mentioned before we all took turns with the stomach virus that Rach had. Matt was the last to get it. He started feeling sick on a Saturday night and stayed home from work on Sunday. While he was trying to rest on the living room couch I was trying to entertain Rach upstairs for most of the day. For the most part Rach is pretty good at being able to entertain herself (I hope this shows that she will be creative and have a good imagination) and she loves hanging out with her Mommy.

Rach was playing very contently on our bedroom floor with her big blocks and I was able to get some laundry put away and do some organizing/cleaning in our room. We still had Rach's little infant bath tub stored in our room. It was standing up against the back wall and Rach went over to it and pulled it down. She then began pushing it around upstairs. She would push it from our room, through the hall, and into her room, and then back. She did this quite a few times. Then she began putting toys, puppy, and a few various other items in the tub and pushing them around. Silly girl, but she was having a good time and I was able to still keep an eye on her and be productive at the same time. Win win.

When she got tired/bored of pushing the tub around upstairs she stopped with it in the middle of our bedroom floor, right next to her blocks container. Rach then took her toys and puppy out of the tub and began putting a few blocks into the tub. Next, our silly girl climbed into the tub and began to play and build with her blocks in it! This cracked me up! She was so cute and so content! I swear this kept her busy for a good chunk of time.

I love watching her play with her blocks too. She really understands how to work them to get them to connect and build. It's amazing to see how much she has grown already in such a short period of time. She just got the blocks for Christmas and she started off just wanting to knock down everything that Matt and I would build for her. Now, in less than 3 months, she actually wants to build her own things (yes, she does still need some help sometimes pushing the blocks together totally, but not all the time). I know I sound like a broken record, but I think my daughter is AMAZING!!! She is the best!!!

(Sorry the pictures are not the best. They are from my cell phone and I don't think I had quite enough light when taking them.)

Catching Up On Pictures

After all the sickness and drama we had been dealing with I got behind at posting pictures of our beautiful girl. Here are some from the middle of March 2011, mostly during the conference basketball tournaments and before March Madness. Rachel showed equal support for both the Spartans and the Irish. Daddy even worked on teaching her to say "Irish" and it is so cute!

Rach in her ND jersey with her basketball. Such a pretty face!

Wearing Mommy's State hat.

Drinking her milk wearing Mommy's State Alumni hat.

Hanging out with Mommy on the weekend. The most beautiful baby ever!!

Part 2 of our sickness saga

Alright, picking up where we left off (if you haven't read Part 1 of our sickness saga scroll down to the previous post & start there). So it is Saturday morning 3/5 (Rach's 14 month bday!) and we've given her the 2nd dose of the new antibiotic. It's been a couple hours since Rach drank the small bottle and she is acting hungry again, hooray!


I go to change her diaper before feeding her again and find an icky diarrhea diaper (I think I forgot to mention that Rach had been having some diarrhea Thursday and Friday while she was refusing to drink so not only were we worried that her ears were still infected but we were also worried about her getting dehydrated.) I was initially figuring this was still just related to that and a side effect of being on antibiotics. It turns out that this was not the case, instead Rach was having a horrific reaction to the 2nd/new antibiotic!


Saturday morning was filled with diarrhea and vomiting! Rach vomited up the second dose of the antibiotic. We gave her tummy some time & she was definitely hungry so we gave her some milk. She vomited. We tried water. She vomited. We tried Pedialyte. She vomited. We tried Cheerios. She vomited. We could not get her to keep anything down. It was heartbreaking to watch! Poor Rachel who had spent the last 2 days practically not eating was now definitely hungry and wanting to eat and now we can't get her to keep anything down. The diarrhea was also continuing this entire time and definitely seemed grosser than before.


Luckily our pediatrician has Saturday hours and we were able to get her back in. We saw a different dr than Friday, one that we liked better. She told us to stop the 2nd/new antibiotic and this time gave Rach the antibiotic shot to hopefully take care of her ears. She had us schedule a follow up appointment for first thing Monday morning to see if the shot had worked or if Rach would need a second shot. She did show some concern about the vomiting and diarrhea and asked that we bring in a stool sample to Monday's appointment just to check it.


Saturday afternoon after Rach had taken a good long nap she looked a little better and was hungry again. It had been many hours since the evil antibiotic and a few since she had last thrown up. Here is our sweet Little Bear happily devouring her bottle late Saturday afternoon:

Unfortunately about 90 seconds after I took this picture she vomited, again. Seriously, my poor baby! Matt was at work, but luckily for me Grandma and Grandpa are saints and were on their way over to help. My hope was that they could entertain Rach (or vice versa) and I could tend to the enormous pile of laundry covered in vomit. Oh yeah, Rach must have gone through about 6 pairs of pajamas that day, not to mention the towels and burp cloths we grabbed in a pinch to clean up, one of her puppies, and multiple outfits of Mommy's. Fun times.

Grandma and Grandpa got there just as I was finishing cleaning up and changing Rach's jammies again. And Rach, well poor Rach just looked sick and beat. She was tired and clingy/cuddly. We spent the rest of the night Saturday working on gradually introducing fluids (Pedialyte) back into Rach's system in tiny amounts at 10-15 minute intervals. What an ordeal! Luckily she kept the Pedialyte down this time and by the time I put her to bed it had been multiple hours of her being hydrated and not having vomited.

Sunday 3/6 we spent a quiet day at home and I worked on gradually getting Rach to drink her milk again. She definitely had an appetite and did fine with her milk. She was also able to eat some small meals like yogurt and Cheerios. She napped well, played, and was a bit more animated. The only remaining issue was that the icky diarrhea continued all day in practically every diaper. But all in all it was a good day and I was hopeful that Monday's ear recheck would go well.

Monday 3/7 Rach woke up after a better night's sleep and looked pretty good. She was still acting a bit tired and clingy/cuddly. She was in good spirits despite still having the icky diarrhea. We get to the doctor's and get some good news: Rach does not have a fever and she has gained 2 ounces since Saturday! (I think I forgot to mention that in the course of a week with the not eating, not drinking, vomiting, & diarrhea Rach had lost a little over a pound. This might not seem like a lot but when you are talking about a 14 month old that is only 23 pounds to begin with this is a lot! As a frame of reference, it took Rach a whole month to go up from 22 to 23 pounds but only a week being sick to lose more than that.) So you can imagine that the good news was music to my ears!

Next, the doctor checks Rach's ears. More good news: the infection is much better in both ears and there is just some lingering clear fluid that we just need to wait for nature to take its course and clear up, nothing that is enough that it should bother her much. No second shot is needed! Hooray!!!

The doctor asked about Rach's eating, drinking, sleeping, and diapers. I let her know that we are making progress in 3 out of the 4 areas except that we are still dealing with the icky diarrhea. I had brought in a stool sample per the doctor's request on Saturday. The doctor was concerned about the icky diapers and wanted to run a quick test on the stool to make sure that there was no blood in it. Just upon looking at it she stated that it didn't look too bad and she didn't anticipate any issues. However, after running the test we found out that it came back as testing positive for having blood in it. One step forward, two steps back, this has been how our month has gone. The doctor informs me that they need to now send the sample out for further testing and that we will not get the results back until Tuesday or Wednesday. I am told that the blood is due to one of two causes: either 1)a fluke, her bum is so irritated from the lingering rash and diarrhea that there is a bit of bleeding, or 2)she has a stomach infection now that could have been caused from the antibiotics and will need to be treated. Great!

The doctor stays pretty calm and doesn't give me too much info other than that they will let me know when they have the results and we will go from there. I drop Rach off at home and head to work after explaining everything to Matt. Luckily it is Monday so that means Rach will be with Matt in the morning and then Grandma and Grandpa the rest of the day.

Of course I am a little concerned that we are still not out of the woods and decide that its best for me to be as educated about what we might be dealing with as possible. Bad idea! If I have learned anything from this last month it needs to be this: Dr. Google is NOT your friend!! Stay away from the internet!!

After a quick search I learn just how super serious this stomach infection is. In an irony of ironies it is caused by antibiotics but is antibiotic resistant. There are only 2 or 3 meds that are used to treat it, expensive meds at that. Even with the meds there is no guarantee of it being cured. It could be cured but take months (like 9 - 10 months) to do so with multiple treatments and the person is considered contagious, ie cannot go to daycare, for the entire time. Oh yeah, its highly contagious, even to your pets. Even if it is "cured" the person is still highly at risk for it to come back in the future, especially if they are ever on antibiotics again. Or it could and has been fatal. Oh yeah, people have died from complications of it. Seriously?!? I'm sure you can imagine what this little Google search did to me. It made me ILL. (My hands are actually shaking a bit now just having to type about it and think about it again.)

Of course my mommy mind goes to the worst places and I begin to freak out. I am devastated that my angel could have this. I am terrified that we could have to go through this and she could/will suffer. I am heartbroken at the thought of heaven forbid losing her. I do not want to exist in a world that does not have Rachel. End. of. story.

I'm not going to lie, Monday I was a shit employee. I know that really sucks coming from an HR person but I was a mess. My head was so cluttered. My heart was so broken. My stomach was so upset. I cried at my desk. I tried to pull it together when Matt called and asked about what I had read, but no such luck, I crumbled again. Luckily for me, Matt and my amazing parents were strong and had words of wisdom. By the time I got home Monday night I had gathered myself and knew that no matter what I had to keep it together and be strong for Rachel.

I don't know if I can accurately put into words what Monday and Tuesday were like, as a parent, waiting for potentially devastating news. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. It was a hell of a time trying to concentrate at work.

Finally, Tuesday afternoon around 2 PM the doctor's office called. The moment of truth was here. The test came back NEGATIVE!!! Rach didn't have the stomach infection! Thank you God!!!

I did ask about the likelihood of a false negative and was told that they would do a recheck stool sample next month at Rach's 15 month appointment (so keep your fingers crossed). The doctor mentioned that the diarrhea could still be a lingering effect of all the antibiotics Rach was on or it could be a simple stomach virus, a flu bug. Little did I know we would shortly learn the answer.

The next day, Wednesday 3/9, I started to not feel so good while at work. I took a half day and came home and proceeded to feel like crap! I stayed home from work Thursday too since I was still sick. Over the course of the next 4 days (Thursday through Sunday) myself, Matt, Grandma, and Grandpa all dealt with the stomach virus. I have never in my life been so happy to have the flu!! We finally had our answer. Poor little Rach just had gotten hammered in that on top of still fighting off her ear infections she had also caught the stomach flu.

Thankfully during the days that I was home sick Rach started feeling much better. She was eating, drinking, and playing normally. She was back to being a happy ball of energy and babbling up a storm. Here is a pic from Wednesday of her shooting some hoops with her Daddy. She is really good now and so funny to watch! She cheers and claps each time she makes a basket and looks to make sure we are clapping, but she doesn't clap when she doesn't make it.

I am happy to report that the last week has been pretty much uneventful! Rach is still doing great! I am so looking forward to having our second healthy weekend in a row with her. Thank you God for once again answering our prayers and for taking care of our sweet girl. Rachel Bear, Mommy loves you more than you will ever know and it hurts my heart to see you sick, sad, and unhappy.

SO much to catch up on!!

It's been 12 days since I last posted and that's because I just couldn't. Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, crazier, sicker, etc they did. I have SO much to make sure I write so that we don't forget and I'm pretty sure that this will have to be more than 1 post but I at least need to get started now.

The last time I posted was Wednesday 3/2 and Rach was starting to do much better. She was getting her energy back and really seemed like her old self. Wednesday night was also night #10, the last night of her antibiotics for her pink eye and double ear infection.

Thursday 3/3 seemed like it would also be a step in the right direction. Rach looked good and had a good deal of energy. Here's a couple pics of her playing with her bff Charlie.

Her appetite was a little less starting on Thursday, not wanting to drink all of her bottles and not really interested in food, but she was still her happy self. Matt and I had teeth cleaning appointments Thursday afternoon so Grandma and Grandpa came to hang out with Rach for a bit and noticed the same thing: still happy and playful but not really into eating or drinking. At this point we were hoping this was just that she was having a picky toddler day and it was no big deal. She continued the same way throughout the rest of the day/night.

Thursday night she had a rough night sleeping (also had Wednesday night) and seemed less like herself Friday morning when I saw her before work. I was hoping this was just due to being tired. However Friday 3/4 mid-morning I received this text pic from Matt:

Rach was super cuddly, very tired, and was now refusing to eat or drink. Oh, and she also had a fever. Starting to put two and two together from the last 48 hours I start thinking, "here we go again," her ears must still be infected and bothering her. (Case in point, this is only Rach's 2nd ear infection, but her 1st one last year, was a doozy, taking 4 weeks, 2 liquid antibiotics, & 2 antibiotic shots to clear up).

We were able to get a late Friday afternoon appointment at the pediatrician's. (The beauty of the office having 8 pediatricians is that its easier to get appointments, the downside is that for last minute sick appointments you don't always get a choice of who you get to see. Out of the 8 drs we have seen 6 and out of the 6 we like 5 of them. Unfortunately Friday's appointment was with the 1 dr that Matt & I do not care for.) Rach was checked from head to toe and it was confirmed that yes, both of her ears were still infected, boo. We also found out that Rach now had a yeast infection from the first antibiotic (gotta love that even at 14 months old the poor thing has to deal with a downfall of being a woman).

We mentioned to the dr about the last time Rach had the ear infection and asked about the shot but the dr said that the shot is a pretty strong antibiotic and they only use it as a last resort. She instead prescribed Rach a different liquid antibiotic for the next 10 days. This 2nd antibiotic was new one that Rach had never taken before. Rach also got a cream for her yeast infection. Below are a few pics are our little trooper while we waited for the pharmacy to fill the prescriptions. (Another nice thing however is that the pediatrician's office has an in-office pharmacy so you don't have to take your Rx, drive to CVS, wait, and drive home.)

The new antibiotic had to be taken 2x a day instead of one so Rach got her first dose Friday night when we got home. Wow, was that a struggle! Rach is usually great about taking medicine but man did she fight us on this one! We were able to get a very small amount of milk into her Friday night and she actually slept pretty good other than waking up super early Saturday morning at about 4 AM. She was crying and we figured she was probably hungry since it had been about 2 days of hardly eating anyting. I gave her a small bottle which she chugged and we were so happy our little girl wanted to drink again!

Unfortunately we couldn't get her to go back to sleep. We tried letting her cuddle in bed with us but by 5:30 AM we gave up and decided to start our Saturday. We gave Rach her 2nd dose of the new antibiotic and it was a super struggle again! This is where things started to go downhill & fast.

To be continued.......

TGI...M ???

Yes, TGIM, Thank God It's March!!! February was not a kind month to the Phillips family. We dealt with Rach's rash for weeks, her pink eye and double ear infections, my sinus issues, Matt being out of town for a week, multiple doctor visits, and then just to end the month on a high note my sinus issues got worse and both Grandma and I caught Rach's pink eye! Oy vey!

We did manage to have some fun over the weekend though. Matt and Rachel spent a nice Friday together and then we all got to spend some family time together Friday night. Saturday morning we all got up, got packed, and ready to go. Matt had plans with Uncle Chris out in Grand Rapids all day and would be spending the night there so Rachel, Charlie, and I packed up and headed over to Grandma and Grandpa's. We spent Saturday doing some shopping and had lunch at Panera. I've got to say, Rachel may look like Daddy but she is a lot like Mommy on the inside, the girl is a great shopper! She is always so happy and content. She did a great job helping me pick out birthday gifts for her cousin Chloe (who is 5 TODAY, Happy Birthday Chloe, We love you!!) and she enjoyed sharing a turkey sandwich and smoothie with her Mommy at Panera.

Rach was full of energy on Saturday and really seemed like she was back to her old self. It was so great to see! She just played and played and played and passed out pretty easily at bedtime. Unfortunately she woke up at 3:30 AM pretty upset. I think that her pack and play there is a bit too small for her now and that she just didn't remember where she was when she woke up. So I just brought her into bed with me and we were both able to get some more sleep. Below are a few pictures of my little Sleeping Beauty in bed with her Mommy on Sunday morning.

Sunday started off good and had the potential to be a great day. We enjoyed a nice breakfast with Grandma and Grandpa and then headed back to meet Matt at home. Unfortunately right before dinner time I became pretty certain that I had caught Rach's pink eye. We spent the rest of the night trying to clean and disinfect to make sure I couldn't give it back to Rach and that Matt wouldn't catch it at all.

I stayed home on Monday since I knew I would be contagious until I had been on the antibiotics for 24 hours and headed to the doctor. Grandma also went to the doctor on Monday to confirm that she had it too and to get her own eye drops. Grandma and Grandpa did still come over to spend time with us and watch Rachel, which I greatly appreciate! This allowed me time to do more disinfecting and laundry and to go on a grocery store and post office run.

Right now we are just crossing our fingers that Grandpa and Matt don't catch the pink eye from Grandma or me.

I know that I have said it before, but I will say it again, our little Rachel Bear is THE sweetest little girl around. She melts my heart and I hope she always stays as loving and sweet as she is today! The latest examples of this: Monday afternoon Grandma was helping me put my eye drops in (yes, I am almost 30 years old, I have given myself shots, and have given birth but eye drops freak me out!) so I am laying flat on the couch and made a little noise and winced afterward and my sweet angel stopped playing, walked up to me, and gave me a big kiss on the cheek! How sweet is this girl?!? Then Monday night we were upstairs cuddling after her bottle and before bed when Matt got home. He came up to say hi and goodnight to Rach and as soon as I handed her to him for a hug she took her binky out of her mouth and gave her Daddy a big kiss! Pretty sure even Daddy gets a little overwhelmed at how sweet and loveable our baby girl is! We are so lucky and so blessed!!

Updates

I am so happy to report that Rach seems to be feeling better! She's had a few doses of the antibiotics and they are definitely working. The last two mornings she has woken up with no eye crusties! She also hasn't been rubbing her eyes as much. She is still playing/tugging at her ear every now and then but that could just take a little longer to get better. We'll just have to keep a close eye on it. A surprise blessing from all of this mess with the pink eye and ear infections is that the antibiotics seem to have helped her butt rash! It's amazing!

I stayed home with Rach yesterday and we enjoyed a nice, relaxing, lazy day together. I know I had mentioned in my last post that I was not feeling 100% and by Tuesday night I really was feeling awful. Yesterday morning I woke up and wasn't feeling any better so we ended up at the doctor's this time for me. Rach was great. I took a few pictures of her sitting in her stroller with puppy. While we were waiting for the doctor she kept herself entertained with puppy snuggles, drinking her water, eating a few goldfish, and playing Peakaboo Barn about 30 times.

As for me, I am having sinus issues. I'm feeling a little better today, but have also been taking medicine. I am not really too congested in my nose but I have so much pressure in my ears that I was in pain and was even feeling dizzy and off balance. The congestion/drainage is also doing a number on my throat. It hurts to swallow and my glands are a bit swollen. Luckily the doctor found that nothing is infected but told me to keep hydrated and to keep taking a decongestant so that the pressure will break up and the drainage will go away before anything can become infected.

It was so great to spend the day with Rach yesterday! I so wish we could be together every day and that I didn't have to miss a minute of anything she does or says or learns. I think she must have been happy to have me home too because she was passing out kisses yesterday like crazy! She would also be playing and then take a break, come to me and just give me a huge hug! She is such a sweet little girl and I love that she is so cuddly and affectionate. I hope she always stays that way!

Last, but not least, Matt is finally home! Thank goodness he had safe travels and our family is back together again. It was such a great sight this morning to see Rach and her daddy snuggled up and cuddling again before I left for work. I so love my family!!